This one wasn’t really one of the short stories that I wrote for the New Scientist competition. It was actually a dream that I had during the period while writing them. Because it left such a strong impression on me (after more than two weeks I could still recall it vividly) I have decided to include it here. I don’t know if I’ll be able to recreate the intensity that permeated me while experiencing it but I hope I do.
To strange places I awake...
THE TUNNEL
(1413 word count)
I’m walking through a huge club where a massive rave party is going on. I’m following a girl, perhaps someone I know from work, perhaps not. There is some sexual tension on my part but mostly some strange kind of friendship that not even I quite understand myself.
I am following her because I know she is getting herself into trouble.
And I want to be there to ameliorate the impending consequences of her present actions.
She wades easily through the crowd, moving closer and closer towards the back of the club. The music is booming all around us but I know my words of caution are drowned both by the sound and by her stubbornness.
Everybody’s high, taking the music and the experience to the limit.
But there are drugs and there are drugs.
And she wants the most dangerous, the most hard to get and the most potent of them all. She doesn’t say it but I know.
I know as soon as she says
“Come with me. I’ve got to pick up something.”
“I really think you shouldn’t.”
“Why? Are you scared?”
“Yes. Yes I am.”
“If you want to make it there, there has to be no place for fear.”
“I know. That is why I am afraid.”
“Stay here then.”
“I’ll go with you.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll be fine on my own.”
“Sure.”
I follow her through the steaming crowd, pumping more than blood and sound through their system. As we move closer to the back of the club the music seems to become heavier, denser. And so do the people. They seem more sinister and brooding. I begin to feel more and more uncomfortable. This is what I knew would happen.
She moves between all these people almost as if they weren’t even there. She is on a mission and nothing will deter her. This is the correct attitude to have, I’m sure, if one is to come back out alive.
At the back of the club, instead of a wall there is an entrance. A tunnel. It slopes downwards softly, whilst curving to the left, a spiral, always to the left apart from the odd stretch straight ahead.
The tunnel has walls like a cave, the rough hewn edges of stone showing. Dimly lit by a light whose source I cannot fathom. It seems that the light is permanently coming from the tunnel’s end though it is never in sight. But there’s that feeling that it’s just around the next corner.
She enters the tunnel without hesitation. I try not to show mine and follow.
After a few steps I look back. I can still see the lights of the club we’re leaving behind along with any feeling of safety. They dim more and more. And so does the sound. And that’s the scariest part. Losing whatever feeble connection we can have to the place up there.
One more curve to the left and it fades away. The sound quickly follows.
There are steps along the way. They are broad and shallow. Slowly they take us down. We walk at a good pace but carefully. There isn’t enough light to see where we are going and there’re plenty of people inside the tunnel. Waiting. Waiting for customers. Waiting for prey.
We move ever downwards with a constant pace. There is a new sound here. I can’t place it, there’s no perceptible rhythm or riffs. It’s like this gigantic but also blurred mass of distorted guitars, continuously strumming their mass of industrial Goth metal rock. It’s a continuous onslaught of distortion with only a vague discernment of variation. The sound doesn’t seem to change for a long time. It’s always there. Always the same. As if telling us we are never going to reach the objective.
All I know is that at the end of the tunnel there is a terrible thing. That more often than not people that go in search of these drugs that can only be obtained there, do not return. But I wish to protect her and so I move on.
At each step of the way, at each turn, men gage us. Trying to ascertain who we are and what they can do with us. At each step, at each new turn their faces and looks become more and more menacing. Even she’s feeling more and more anxious. I can feel it. We don’t say anything. Exchanging any word here would be an assumption of doubt or hesitation, which are just another words for fear. And that would be deadly. We press on and we look to these people less and less. As if they didn’t matter. As if only the end of the tunnel mattered.
Another turn to the left. Again that vague eerie steely glare escorts us downwards. It never seems to change. I feel that these men want to kill us but, as soon as we drop another step below them it’s as if we drop beyond their reach, their maximum tolerance level and are thus spared. This is why we can never stop.
The steps seem endless. Always the same. Always shallow and long. I calculate that if we had to run back we’d easily trip in them for their length is unnatural and hard to judge.
Then the glare increases and so does the sound. Some sort of ongoing repetitive mass of chords keeps ringing, over saturated.
I don’t know what to do.
I can see the glare as we descend the last few steps. The wall now curves to the right. There’s a dark golden red light coming from inside.
The sound increases.
The men move aside as we pass by them. Staring at us from behind their black shades. As if we are mad to enter that place.
I don’t know what to do.
I follow her.
We enter a small cave. There’s a crowd dancing to the sound of this music that I can’t place where it’s coming from. The wall behind them is completely black and I know that even if I got close to it I would not see anything.
On either side of the crowd there are two hierarchies. They watch the crowd dance, presiding to the whole thing. They are both demonic. I suppose she has sold her soul as soon as we entered the tunnel. Intention is everything and as soon as she made her wish and began down the tunnel, the pact was sealed. This is how it works.
She hesitates. She is so close but it’s as if for the first time it hits her what she can really lose if she goes ahead with this. I don’t know what it is but it’s bigger than life, death and the soul combined. It’s as if she’s about to lose everything and more. I try to stop her. She just shrugs me away and moves towards the crowd. I cannot go any further. This is my limit. It’s not something that I can even conceptualise to do. To follow her. I just watch her move between the hot, pulsing bodies, oblivious to anything but their motion. She goes to the left crowd, passes between the dancing bodies and is received upon the hierarchy. A man with long flowing hair welcomes her courteously and begins to speak with her. Greets her as if he had always known her.
I feel I shouldn’t be here. I feel that they will find me and do something worse than death to me. To her. But I should stay. To protect her. If anything goes wrong I will try and save her, even though I know that my abilities are next to zero when compared to those of the ones playing host to this place.
She makes her request.
The demon in human form pauses and draws a soft smile. He concedes. Something is brought to him and he gives it to her. He leaves her and she wades back into the crowd. She comes towards me with a triumphant yet somewhat nervous look in her face. She has what she wanted. She feels she’s won.
We begin walking away.
We start climbing the long staircase once more.
Her eyes shine.
None of us says anything.
I’m terrified because I know that the pact is now definitive.
I know she is doomed.
She knows it too.
But, right now, she doesn’t care. She has precisely what she’d wanted.
For now, she’s won.
END
Sunday, 27 December 2009
Friday, 25 December 2009
Echoes
This is another of the set of short stories I wrote for the New Scientist Competition. I don't really recall how it came about but it probably had something to do with some family stuff going on then. That feeling that most kids seem to have when they hit adolescence (well, at least I did, 'cause I remember it well) of wanting to grow too fast, to reach maturity as quickly as possible.
So, in a way, this little story is a short meditation on that, from both sides of the equation.
Enjoy!
peace.
ECHOES
(591 word count)
What happened? Are you alright? You look terrible.
I’m fine I guess. Humm… no really. It’s ok. I’ve just been looking through my great-grandparents stuff.
Really?! Why would you want to do that?
Genealogy. I just wanted to find out a bit better how they lived back then. You know, twenty first century style.
Honey, why would you want to do that?
I guess I’m trying to find some closure in my own life, you know? What’s it all about? Did they know any more than us? Did they learn anything?
The woman paused and looked intently at her daughter. Then said
Well, did they?
I don’t know. I don’t think so. They spent an awful lot of time doing lots of pointless things. “Surfing the web” Publishing snippets of their emo-mind states and hoping that others would spot them.
Well, we do the same. We’ve got Z.
Sure. But that’s not an activity in itself it’s-
-just part of the landscape. I know. But don’t be too hard on them. This kind of stuff was born there. They godfathered our era. For better or for worse.
It’s just that I’ve gone through all this drivel about what I’ve done or eaten today or what I’m planning on buying or whatever and what strikes me the most is all the misinformation they were surrounded with. The world was upside down. Couldn’t they see it?
Honey. Of course they could. They were just stuck in their own time. We all are.
I know that. But why didn’t they realise it faster? Why did they get so easily stuck?
Honey, they didn’t have the technology we have today. Neuron balancing therapy, synaptic realignment and cortical regenerative processes were only invented less than thirty years ago.
Sure. But these techniques, they didn’t tell us anything that we didn’t know before…
I know honey... but they did allow us to reach those ideas much faster than ever before. That’s why they were so important in the first place. Now what I think is that you shouldn’t get yourself so worked up simply because you can’t sort out the past. No one can. What’s done is done… You know, when I was your age, we used to spend so much time in I-Reality. Who pays any attention to that these days? You’re seven. Don’t worry yourself about all this stuff. You have the rest of your life to do that. Just enjoy what you’ve got right now. All these mementos… honey, they’re just echoes from the past…
Is she alright?
Yeah. She is… I had to have the “you’re looking too much, too deep” conversation again.
Well, if anyone can, it’s you honey. I’m crap at that sort of stuff.
You’re not… but thanks. The woman leaned over to her husband and rested her head on his chest. She’s just so young and already so much into all this deep brooding stuff. Were you ever like that when you were a kid? More worried about the philosophical consequences of your ancestors than actually spending time with your friends?
Nah. You know me. Always a sucker for putting up with my mates. But don’t start getting worried on me to. One out of three females is as much as I can take.
Oh, poor baby… does that mean you’re not planning on worrying then?
You better pray I don’t even show early signs. I’m impossible to put up with…
Thanks for the fair warning…
Hmm… Kids these days hey? They just grow up too fast.
END
So, in a way, this little story is a short meditation on that, from both sides of the equation.
Enjoy!
peace.
ECHOES
(591 word count)
What happened? Are you alright? You look terrible.
I’m fine I guess. Humm… no really. It’s ok. I’ve just been looking through my great-grandparents stuff.
Really?! Why would you want to do that?
Genealogy. I just wanted to find out a bit better how they lived back then. You know, twenty first century style.
Honey, why would you want to do that?
I guess I’m trying to find some closure in my own life, you know? What’s it all about? Did they know any more than us? Did they learn anything?
The woman paused and looked intently at her daughter. Then said
Well, did they?
I don’t know. I don’t think so. They spent an awful lot of time doing lots of pointless things. “Surfing the web” Publishing snippets of their emo-mind states and hoping that others would spot them.
Well, we do the same. We’ve got Z.
Sure. But that’s not an activity in itself it’s-
-just part of the landscape. I know. But don’t be too hard on them. This kind of stuff was born there. They godfathered our era. For better or for worse.
It’s just that I’ve gone through all this drivel about what I’ve done or eaten today or what I’m planning on buying or whatever and what strikes me the most is all the misinformation they were surrounded with. The world was upside down. Couldn’t they see it?
Honey. Of course they could. They were just stuck in their own time. We all are.
I know that. But why didn’t they realise it faster? Why did they get so easily stuck?
Honey, they didn’t have the technology we have today. Neuron balancing therapy, synaptic realignment and cortical regenerative processes were only invented less than thirty years ago.
Sure. But these techniques, they didn’t tell us anything that we didn’t know before…
I know honey... but they did allow us to reach those ideas much faster than ever before. That’s why they were so important in the first place. Now what I think is that you shouldn’t get yourself so worked up simply because you can’t sort out the past. No one can. What’s done is done… You know, when I was your age, we used to spend so much time in I-Reality. Who pays any attention to that these days? You’re seven. Don’t worry yourself about all this stuff. You have the rest of your life to do that. Just enjoy what you’ve got right now. All these mementos… honey, they’re just echoes from the past…
Is she alright?
Yeah. She is… I had to have the “you’re looking too much, too deep” conversation again.
Well, if anyone can, it’s you honey. I’m crap at that sort of stuff.
You’re not… but thanks. The woman leaned over to her husband and rested her head on his chest. She’s just so young and already so much into all this deep brooding stuff. Were you ever like that when you were a kid? More worried about the philosophical consequences of your ancestors than actually spending time with your friends?
Nah. You know me. Always a sucker for putting up with my mates. But don’t start getting worried on me to. One out of three females is as much as I can take.
Oh, poor baby… does that mean you’re not planning on worrying then?
You better pray I don’t even show early signs. I’m impossible to put up with…
Thanks for the fair warning…
Hmm… Kids these days hey? They just grow up too fast.
END
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Coincidences Remixed
Weeks have slipped by and I kept meaning to post the last few short stories for that New Scientist competition but I just kept postponing it and postponing it and postponing it...
Well... no more!
COINCIDENCES REMIXED
(300 word count)
Heading home? Already?!
Yeah man… boss been giving me a hard time… you know how it is… too much work and no time to do it… I’m just gonna head home and chill watching a movie…
Alright. I’m feeling a bit tired myself. I think I’m gonna do the same…
Oh yeah? What are you gonna watch?
Oh… I don’t know… maybe Casablanca. It’s been a while, you know?
For real?! That’s what I’m gonna watch! What a coincidence! I’m such a fan of that classic, you know? With whom playing?
Ah… you know… I don’t really know. Maybe with Demi Moore and Shia LaBeouf.
Really? Hmm… funny, never heard about that one… Directed by?
Er… either Woody Allen - in his early, Bananas, phase mind you. Or Fellini. Think 8 and a Half. I want something moving and weird but funny as well. But I’ll probably go with Woody Allen this time.
Right… old school hey?
I guess… How about you?
I’m prefer something a bit more contemporary. You know. Ted Malek. Vicky Stratsmore. Kev Lubin behind the scenes. Nothing fancy.
The action adventure angle, right?
Yeah, you know. I just like to go home and relax with a good punch up… How’re you watching it? Total I-Reality immersion or what? I just can’t get enough of it! It blows me away! Sometimes I’m still in character by the time I log into work!
Yeah… I know what you mean… but man, believe it or not, as soon as I’ve configured all the specs for the film, I’m gonna watch this latest production of mine in pure and simple 3D.
What?! Come on, tell me one thing: you just like to be different from everybody else don’t you?
Hey, what can I say? I’m a traditional kind of guy.
END
This one was written thinking of a cartoony feel. A simple story with a humorous punchline at the end. I just find it funny how what we define as being traditional keeps changing all the time. What is usual is something that stems from the moment. And, since the moments keep changing, so do our references.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!
Peace.
Well... no more!
COINCIDENCES REMIXED
(300 word count)
Heading home? Already?!
Yeah man… boss been giving me a hard time… you know how it is… too much work and no time to do it… I’m just gonna head home and chill watching a movie…
Alright. I’m feeling a bit tired myself. I think I’m gonna do the same…
Oh yeah? What are you gonna watch?
Oh… I don’t know… maybe Casablanca. It’s been a while, you know?
For real?! That’s what I’m gonna watch! What a coincidence! I’m such a fan of that classic, you know? With whom playing?
Ah… you know… I don’t really know. Maybe with Demi Moore and Shia LaBeouf.
Really? Hmm… funny, never heard about that one… Directed by?
Er… either Woody Allen - in his early, Bananas, phase mind you. Or Fellini. Think 8 and a Half. I want something moving and weird but funny as well. But I’ll probably go with Woody Allen this time.
Right… old school hey?
I guess… How about you?
I’m prefer something a bit more contemporary. You know. Ted Malek. Vicky Stratsmore. Kev Lubin behind the scenes. Nothing fancy.
The action adventure angle, right?
Yeah, you know. I just like to go home and relax with a good punch up… How’re you watching it? Total I-Reality immersion or what? I just can’t get enough of it! It blows me away! Sometimes I’m still in character by the time I log into work!
Yeah… I know what you mean… but man, believe it or not, as soon as I’ve configured all the specs for the film, I’m gonna watch this latest production of mine in pure and simple 3D.
What?! Come on, tell me one thing: you just like to be different from everybody else don’t you?
Hey, what can I say? I’m a traditional kind of guy.
END
This one was written thinking of a cartoony feel. A simple story with a humorous punchline at the end. I just find it funny how what we define as being traditional keeps changing all the time. What is usual is something that stems from the moment. And, since the moments keep changing, so do our references.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!
Peace.
Ritual II
This is the other version of the short that I posted here a while ago. I wanted to capture the same escaping reality feel of the first one but in a smaller space. Curiously enough, even though the end is more or less the same, the way that the story developed was very different. Feel free to compare them.
Go on...
Peace!
RITUAL II
(374 word count)
He was running through the forest. The ground shaking underneath his feet.
Is there where I’m supposed to be? Am I doing this right?!
The forest began to disappear and then there was mist all around and he couldn’t see where he was going and, before he could stop, he felt himself starting to sink in quicksand.
This isn’t real! I just need to tell myself that this isn’t real! This isn’t real!
“As if buddy boy. You’re chained. And I’m free. You’re mine. And I’m going to take my time with you.”
A hulking man, half his face disfigured paced the room around the metallic chair to which he was bound, naked, sharpening a long, wide blade.
“It cuts pretty well too. So much so that you can’t even feel it at first…” He pressed the blade against his skin and he saw in horror the blade sinking through his flesh as if it was barely there. Blood began to flow easily, as if waiting to be released.
“Stop!! This isn’t real! Nothing of this is real! You’re not real!”
“If it isn’t real what are you so afraid of? Why should I stop? Especially since I’m having so much fun…” And he placed the blade against his chest and began to cut it open.
“Now let’s lookee here and see what you’re really made off…”
He screamed. As loud as he could. But the sound came out muffled. He felt his insides starting to spill and soon it was as if the waters were parting above him as he sank. He wanted to open his mouth and breathe. He couldn’t. He was being dragged down, deeper and deeper. It was getting cold. The lights above him had ceased to be. His lungs about to burst.
…just…
He released all the air. Water came in. He wanted to breathe it all but couldn’t. He struggled to swim upwards to no avail. He felt heavier than ever before, his body turning to stone. Sinking. His eyes open. The darkness eating him up.
“Bring him out. We ‘re done.”
“He alright?”
“Of course not. But he will be. This is what he paid for. This is what he got. A true 22nd century shamanic ritual.”
END
Go on...
Peace!
RITUAL II
(374 word count)
He was running through the forest. The ground shaking underneath his feet.
Is there where I’m supposed to be? Am I doing this right?!
The forest began to disappear and then there was mist all around and he couldn’t see where he was going and, before he could stop, he felt himself starting to sink in quicksand.
This isn’t real! I just need to tell myself that this isn’t real! This isn’t real!
“As if buddy boy. You’re chained. And I’m free. You’re mine. And I’m going to take my time with you.”
A hulking man, half his face disfigured paced the room around the metallic chair to which he was bound, naked, sharpening a long, wide blade.
“It cuts pretty well too. So much so that you can’t even feel it at first…” He pressed the blade against his skin and he saw in horror the blade sinking through his flesh as if it was barely there. Blood began to flow easily, as if waiting to be released.
“Stop!! This isn’t real! Nothing of this is real! You’re not real!”
“If it isn’t real what are you so afraid of? Why should I stop? Especially since I’m having so much fun…” And he placed the blade against his chest and began to cut it open.
“Now let’s lookee here and see what you’re really made off…”
He screamed. As loud as he could. But the sound came out muffled. He felt his insides starting to spill and soon it was as if the waters were parting above him as he sank. He wanted to open his mouth and breathe. He couldn’t. He was being dragged down, deeper and deeper. It was getting cold. The lights above him had ceased to be. His lungs about to burst.
…just…
He released all the air. Water came in. He wanted to breathe it all but couldn’t. He struggled to swim upwards to no avail. He felt heavier than ever before, his body turning to stone. Sinking. His eyes open. The darkness eating him up.
“Bring him out. We ‘re done.”
“He alright?”
“Of course not. But he will be. This is what he paid for. This is what he got. A true 22nd century shamanic ritual.”
END
Seven Pounds
Another amazing film that I saw recently was Gabrielle Muccino's Seven Pounds starring Will Smith incredible performance.
This was also an unexpected journey. But, fortunately, one that I will treasure. I think this will be one of those rare films that I revisit from time to time.
I will try not to spoil it too much for you but, in any case, I'd advise you to simply watch it and then come back here and read some more.
One of the great things about this film is that, even though it relies heavily on plot (and it's a great one), the story itself and the performance of the actors are really the thing that makes this film work. For this reason, the journey will always be true, even if you already know the end point at the beginning. In fact, I think that on a second viewing the film will feel even deeper and more meaningful...
I mean, after a point, I saw the end coming but, even so, it was still so intense and deep.
Together with Paranoia Agent, I think that this film is what the 21st century film making should be all about. Both are filled with human compassion and, to me, this is the only way forward.
(well, obviously not the ONLY way forward, but the one that in my opinion should be the reference in years to come)
I loved the way how throughout most of the film we did not know what to think about Will's character. Is he good? Is he evil? Who is he? And why is he doing the things he is doing?
Clearly the story plays with our own fears and misconceptions along the way. It is an incredible tribute to the human soul and to the swamps we all have inside and that we must traverse if we are ever to reach a more complete view of ourselves. I feel that this film does this for us, albeit in a much more subtle way than in Paranoia Agent.
Even though one of the tag lines for this film could be "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", the story turns this upside down. Sacrifice is mixed with redemption and true unconditional love.
It is also a tribute to reason by presenting us with this summit of mathematical retribution but on a very high level of compassion. He is tormented but, even in his torment he uses his darkness to reach liberation.
It is a tribute to the best of us being able to traverse the worst of us, if even with dire consequences.
Even though this film is haunting in many ways, it is also a reminder of life attempting to deal with the unchangeable consequences of its actions, of its very being. I do not necessarily agree with all the outcomes but I believe that they-re never done in a gratuitous way.
If you've seen it you know what I'm talking about.
If you haven't you're not missing the point of this tangential review.
You're missing a great film.
Peace.
This was also an unexpected journey. But, fortunately, one that I will treasure. I think this will be one of those rare films that I revisit from time to time.
I will try not to spoil it too much for you but, in any case, I'd advise you to simply watch it and then come back here and read some more.
One of the great things about this film is that, even though it relies heavily on plot (and it's a great one), the story itself and the performance of the actors are really the thing that makes this film work. For this reason, the journey will always be true, even if you already know the end point at the beginning. In fact, I think that on a second viewing the film will feel even deeper and more meaningful...
I mean, after a point, I saw the end coming but, even so, it was still so intense and deep.
Together with Paranoia Agent, I think that this film is what the 21st century film making should be all about. Both are filled with human compassion and, to me, this is the only way forward.
(well, obviously not the ONLY way forward, but the one that in my opinion should be the reference in years to come)
I loved the way how throughout most of the film we did not know what to think about Will's character. Is he good? Is he evil? Who is he? And why is he doing the things he is doing?
Clearly the story plays with our own fears and misconceptions along the way. It is an incredible tribute to the human soul and to the swamps we all have inside and that we must traverse if we are ever to reach a more complete view of ourselves. I feel that this film does this for us, albeit in a much more subtle way than in Paranoia Agent.
Even though one of the tag lines for this film could be "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", the story turns this upside down. Sacrifice is mixed with redemption and true unconditional love.
It is also a tribute to reason by presenting us with this summit of mathematical retribution but on a very high level of compassion. He is tormented but, even in his torment he uses his darkness to reach liberation.
It is a tribute to the best of us being able to traverse the worst of us, if even with dire consequences.
Even though this film is haunting in many ways, it is also a reminder of life attempting to deal with the unchangeable consequences of its actions, of its very being. I do not necessarily agree with all the outcomes but I believe that they-re never done in a gratuitous way.
If you've seen it you know what I'm talking about.
If you haven't you're not missing the point of this tangential review.
You're missing a great film.
Peace.
Paranoia Agent
I've been meaning to post something about this amazing animation series for a while now. This was one of those series that seemed to take animation and film making to that level where one seems to reach a core of reality so deep that any attempt to discuss it seems futile.
Satoshi Kon is an accomplished master.
He can not only see through the medium but also through ourselves.
To be honest this whole series deserves far more than just a post. It deserves to be seen. To be experienced.
perhaps that is the core of this series. Experience itself.
Like Lynch, Satoshi Kon takes us to a place where logic breaks and where, by being lost, we regain something that we have forgotten about.
It still astounds me how Satoshi Kon has managed to pull off such a series. It's like a breathing organism, growing and mutating, adapting to our own growing perceptions of it. And, by knowing this, it takes us on a carefully established journey through our own lunacy.
When I went to Panditarama Forest Monastery for my first ever meditation retreat a few years ago I did not know the many surprises my own mind had kept so well hidden away from my intense conceptual/philosophical soul searching throughout the years. I thought I had seen it all. That I knew it all.
And, in a way, I had.
But I had not experienced it all.
Knowing madness is quite different from experiencing it.
We all, by one reason or another, come close to these experiences in our lives. Through loss or sheer frustration, through an unbearable pain or some sort, our minds seem to want to recoil and slingshot into a different level of awareness where the normalcy of feeling is lost and thus, the seemingly uncontrollable experience at hand shifts into a more manageable level.
Sometimes we just want to lose control. Perhaps because a part of us knows that if we do so, we will regain another sort of balance.
But, we also know, even if vaguely, that the consequences might not be the best and so, we refrain.
I think Satoshi Kon knows very well how the human mind works. If not in a scientific way surely in an experiential way. The intensity and clarity of such experiences are clearly demonstrated throughout the series by the mastery with which he takes us - safely, nonetheless! - in such a perilous journey.
At first I was puzzled with this story. Captured by the images, by the sequences of strangeness and beauty being offered at every moment. But I did not understand this kid with golden rollerblades and golden bat beating people up. This was no ordinary thriller, that much was clear...
After two or three episodes a pattern began to emerge. All those that had been attacked suffered from some form of mental breakdown.
The girl that had created the doll and that was so pressure that started to hear the doll talk back to her.
the boy collapsing under his own success at school.
The woman that had dual personality, crashing under her own desire to regain herself, crushed by the weight of her two opposing sides.
The cop with too much to hide.
I thought I had cracked it.
I didn't know how Shonen Bat (golden bat) had managed to tap into all those people but this was nonetheless the pattern emerging. And, somehow, I doubted that a paranormal explanation would be the correct one.
Then one of the police officers said a very important thing half way through the series.
That maybe this case was the signaling of a new type of crime. A crime that avoids patterns and reasons. A type of crime that no one can hunt or be prepared for.
An this is the key for the whole series, in my view.
The series then apparently seems to lose its focus after episode seven when the basis for the whole Shonen Bat story is no more. Episodes range in their surrealism and darkness, but always depicting madness in one way or another.
But, slowly, the story seems to return to where we had left it. Maromi's creator, the two cops and the dying man in the hospital seem to begin to coalesce once again.
It then becomes clear that all of them have become infected with the Shonen Bat paranoia. in one way or another, this mystery has taken over their lives.
This is what they begin to find out with different levels of awareness.
In the end, even though the mystery is cracked, at the same time it continues.
My interpretation is simple. What Satoshi Kon is targetting is not Shonen Bat itself but the paranoia that exists within each and everyone of us and thus, that pervades the whole of society. The only reason why Shonen Bat becomes the cult phenomenon it does is simply because we resonate with it. Ie, we resonate with the fear of the unknown - which is the basis of paranoia.
This is Satoshi Kon's masterstroke.
He's not talking about a boy in rollerblades.
He's talking about the pressure we experience in our everyday lives and how this causes paranoia to creep into us.
All the episodes are merely examples of how this might happen. If you take a closer look, you will see that he has attempted to look at every significant strata of society. First and foremost he focuses on those we already know that are on the edge. Either because of their professions or their lifestyle but then, as the cult catches on, everyone becomes a vehicle for this. Because all of us have stresses in our lives, in one way or another.
To me the experience is truly to see the series from beginning to end and see the circle forming. Realising that, even though Shonen Bat is no more, Shonen Bat is still very much alive. It was never a person. It was an idea. It was the expression of our individual paranoias that had finally found a way to reach the surface of our minds.
Obviously, this series is aimed at a Japanese audience and looks intently on the Japanese lifestyle on the big city.
Thus the ending, which is so similar to the beginning is not only suitable but also fundamental. Satoshi tells us that the pressure is everywhere and we don't even see it anymore. We just take it as normal. But that the consequences of it live on while this pressure remains.
And that this is something that cannot be resolved by the normal analytical mind. It needs to be known and experienced. And then a choice be made upon this realisation.
This is the true importance of the detective that, connecting the dots, decides to stay real rather than succumb to his fears. Like his partner. That then replaces the old man in the weird calculations on the sidewalk.
At first I did not know what these scribbles meant. I only noticed that each of the numbers reached at the end of each step of the calculation were connected to the main character of each episode. Their age. Date of birth. Number of document. Car tag. Door number. Etc.
But what did they meant? What was the purpose of all this?
To me this insane character that believes he knows and predicts the fate of the next victim represents simply the logical trying to make heads or tails of something that is more a symptom rather than a pattern.
This is what Satoshi Kon is ultimately telling us. That our contemporary society is ill. And that some strange diseases are on the loose.
Illnesses of which we all participate.
And he's showing us the way of how to outgrow them.
This is why this series is so important to me.
It can safely take us to the other side of our own madness.
And make us whole again.
Peace.
Satoshi Kon is an accomplished master.
He can not only see through the medium but also through ourselves.
To be honest this whole series deserves far more than just a post. It deserves to be seen. To be experienced.
perhaps that is the core of this series. Experience itself.
Like Lynch, Satoshi Kon takes us to a place where logic breaks and where, by being lost, we regain something that we have forgotten about.
It still astounds me how Satoshi Kon has managed to pull off such a series. It's like a breathing organism, growing and mutating, adapting to our own growing perceptions of it. And, by knowing this, it takes us on a carefully established journey through our own lunacy.
When I went to Panditarama Forest Monastery for my first ever meditation retreat a few years ago I did not know the many surprises my own mind had kept so well hidden away from my intense conceptual/philosophical soul searching throughout the years. I thought I had seen it all. That I knew it all.
And, in a way, I had.
But I had not experienced it all.
Knowing madness is quite different from experiencing it.
We all, by one reason or another, come close to these experiences in our lives. Through loss or sheer frustration, through an unbearable pain or some sort, our minds seem to want to recoil and slingshot into a different level of awareness where the normalcy of feeling is lost and thus, the seemingly uncontrollable experience at hand shifts into a more manageable level.
Sometimes we just want to lose control. Perhaps because a part of us knows that if we do so, we will regain another sort of balance.
But, we also know, even if vaguely, that the consequences might not be the best and so, we refrain.
I think Satoshi Kon knows very well how the human mind works. If not in a scientific way surely in an experiential way. The intensity and clarity of such experiences are clearly demonstrated throughout the series by the mastery with which he takes us - safely, nonetheless! - in such a perilous journey.
At first I was puzzled with this story. Captured by the images, by the sequences of strangeness and beauty being offered at every moment. But I did not understand this kid with golden rollerblades and golden bat beating people up. This was no ordinary thriller, that much was clear...
After two or three episodes a pattern began to emerge. All those that had been attacked suffered from some form of mental breakdown.
The girl that had created the doll and that was so pressure that started to hear the doll talk back to her.
the boy collapsing under his own success at school.
The woman that had dual personality, crashing under her own desire to regain herself, crushed by the weight of her two opposing sides.
The cop with too much to hide.
I thought I had cracked it.
I didn't know how Shonen Bat (golden bat) had managed to tap into all those people but this was nonetheless the pattern emerging. And, somehow, I doubted that a paranormal explanation would be the correct one.
Then one of the police officers said a very important thing half way through the series.
That maybe this case was the signaling of a new type of crime. A crime that avoids patterns and reasons. A type of crime that no one can hunt or be prepared for.
An this is the key for the whole series, in my view.
The series then apparently seems to lose its focus after episode seven when the basis for the whole Shonen Bat story is no more. Episodes range in their surrealism and darkness, but always depicting madness in one way or another.
But, slowly, the story seems to return to where we had left it. Maromi's creator, the two cops and the dying man in the hospital seem to begin to coalesce once again.
It then becomes clear that all of them have become infected with the Shonen Bat paranoia. in one way or another, this mystery has taken over their lives.
This is what they begin to find out with different levels of awareness.
In the end, even though the mystery is cracked, at the same time it continues.
My interpretation is simple. What Satoshi Kon is targetting is not Shonen Bat itself but the paranoia that exists within each and everyone of us and thus, that pervades the whole of society. The only reason why Shonen Bat becomes the cult phenomenon it does is simply because we resonate with it. Ie, we resonate with the fear of the unknown - which is the basis of paranoia.
This is Satoshi Kon's masterstroke.
He's not talking about a boy in rollerblades.
He's talking about the pressure we experience in our everyday lives and how this causes paranoia to creep into us.
All the episodes are merely examples of how this might happen. If you take a closer look, you will see that he has attempted to look at every significant strata of society. First and foremost he focuses on those we already know that are on the edge. Either because of their professions or their lifestyle but then, as the cult catches on, everyone becomes a vehicle for this. Because all of us have stresses in our lives, in one way or another.
To me the experience is truly to see the series from beginning to end and see the circle forming. Realising that, even though Shonen Bat is no more, Shonen Bat is still very much alive. It was never a person. It was an idea. It was the expression of our individual paranoias that had finally found a way to reach the surface of our minds.
Obviously, this series is aimed at a Japanese audience and looks intently on the Japanese lifestyle on the big city.
Thus the ending, which is so similar to the beginning is not only suitable but also fundamental. Satoshi tells us that the pressure is everywhere and we don't even see it anymore. We just take it as normal. But that the consequences of it live on while this pressure remains.
And that this is something that cannot be resolved by the normal analytical mind. It needs to be known and experienced. And then a choice be made upon this realisation.
This is the true importance of the detective that, connecting the dots, decides to stay real rather than succumb to his fears. Like his partner. That then replaces the old man in the weird calculations on the sidewalk.
At first I did not know what these scribbles meant. I only noticed that each of the numbers reached at the end of each step of the calculation were connected to the main character of each episode. Their age. Date of birth. Number of document. Car tag. Door number. Etc.
But what did they meant? What was the purpose of all this?
To me this insane character that believes he knows and predicts the fate of the next victim represents simply the logical trying to make heads or tails of something that is more a symptom rather than a pattern.
This is what Satoshi Kon is ultimately telling us. That our contemporary society is ill. And that some strange diseases are on the loose.
Illnesses of which we all participate.
And he's showing us the way of how to outgrow them.
This is why this series is so important to me.
It can safely take us to the other side of our own madness.
And make us whole again.
Peace.
Friday, 18 December 2009
The Post Wrimo Blues??!
What's that?!
At least this year I didn't feel them. In fact, I don't think I ever did feel them... I think I always go through the highs and lows during the writing process rather than afterwards...
I any case, this year's nanowrimo is over and i more or less managed to fulfill my objectives. It's Not Too Dark Here stopped at 56 198 and The Lost Years ended at 60 129 (at ten minutes to midnight on the 30th of November...)
I was really behind my schedule when I got to portugal on the 26th. But then I spent a few good days at a very good friend's house typing away and avoiding most of the grey weather and rain that struck Lisbon.
I'm very happy to the way It's Not Too Dark Here turned out. I think this was the first time I had quite a clear idea of where the book was heading from the beginning and that really helped along the way. If you have the direction it's always easier to stay on course...
What I loved was the way the story kept changing as I wrote it. I knew there had to be a major clash between this strange anti-hero and the forces of the outside world but the way I had initially planned it was almost entirely discarded.
writing is an odd thing because it feels to me like a mix of being in the flow but also deciding where it will go next. I simply try to be in the flow and, when I'm not, that's when I start deciding about plot, characters and so forth. Maybe this will change in the future but, for now, this is the way I feel more comfortable with.
one of the good things that I enjoyed watching as I wrote was this character I had based on a friend of mine.
We had had a good long chat in september and, after telling her of my ideas for November, she said I should write her into the story. I took the bait right there and then and my mind automatically started browsing for possibilities. Very rapidly I thought of what I wanted her to represent in the book - which was (and still is) her core attitude towards life and something that i needed in the book. But i now had a character to insert somewhere in the story that I hadn't envisioned from the onset.
She was going to be the voice of consciousness. The voice throughout the story that every so often reminds us that the setting is utterly insane and that, despite that fact, everything is still pushing forward at incredible speed. She is the observer of the lunacy of it all. She is one of the bridges between intentions, story and readers.
I did a first attempt to place her in the story. I wanted her to be there more or less from the onset you see.
but that didn't work out. I wrote a couple of scenes but they felt too forced and not really going anywhere. It felt as if she shouldn't be there.
So i dropped it.
I forgot all about i, actually.
But then the story kept evolving. And, after a particular important climax, she just came back into the game for a few very important scenes.
With The Lost Years the story was a bit different. I quickly realised that this book was going to be more than what I have initially envisioned and that I needed a lot more time to bring it to blossom. So, I decided to forget somewhat the research aspect of it (I didn't have the time or internet when I was in portugal) and focus on the drama.
But, even so, this was a story full of surprises. The characters really grew on me and I think that even if you were to read it now, they would grow on you as well. I think there's a deep sense of humanity through it all. But, to be quite honest, it felt as if there was still much to be said. This story is one that I keep having ideas about, getting clearer and clearer every time I think about it. It's a place where i feel comfortable being and I believe it's an important story to be told in this way.
I thought a lot about Nietzsche's Anti-Christ (that I read many years ago) and the vision of a more human Jesus (in his case, in defiance of more "orthodox" christianity). In a way I think the purpose of this book is to reconcile what seems to me to be misinterpretations of both orthodox christianity and philosophy towards Jesus's message.
And that's why I need a bit more time to read through both the bible (a new version that a friend of mine bought which is based upon the "original" texts rather than the string of translations) and some more material (which includes Nietzsche's final work).
I don't know why but I just feel an incredible potential with this book. I know it has been done before (and most surely it will be done again in the future), but I feel that it is important and that it needs to be said. I don't know why, but there is really a calling for this one.
And the strange thing is that, even though I consider Jesus a pretty interesting character, I am much more fascinated by many other historical figures.
In any case, I do not want to turn it into an essay debating the pros and cons of two viewpoints. Rather, I wish to integrate seamlessly into the narrative some answers to much of the debate still going on about this greatly misinterpreted historical figure. I believe that if Jesus was alive today he would probably disagree with much that is being said in his name. The book tries to convey this idea more clearly through dramatic exploration of particular scenarios but also allow us to more clearly see Jesus as both a man of his time but also ahead of his time. The keywords here being his incredible adaptability and compassion.
Still, I have stopped thinking reasons for this and instead simply accepted the way things are currently in my heart and mind...
If you are interested in knowing a bit more about this just go to wikipedia and search for Essenes or, even better, go to this website:
http://www.thenazareneway.com/
there you'll have a plethora of information and this will easily help you get a better idea of where this book is headed. Connect this with Buddhism (which is the root of the Essene teachings) and you pretty much get it.
So, the idea is simple. To recreate Jesus's journeys, both inside and throughout the world. Hopefully the beauty of his teachings will become closer to all those that read it. To me, much more important than the divine (physical) birth of Jesus (and we're all divine anyway so there's really no need to differentiate...) is that other birth, the opening into full divinity inside his heart. I simply wish that that journey will help us recognise that aspect of ourselves. And awaken us to it.
Peace
At least this year I didn't feel them. In fact, I don't think I ever did feel them... I think I always go through the highs and lows during the writing process rather than afterwards...
I any case, this year's nanowrimo is over and i more or less managed to fulfill my objectives. It's Not Too Dark Here stopped at 56 198 and The Lost Years ended at 60 129 (at ten minutes to midnight on the 30th of November...)
I was really behind my schedule when I got to portugal on the 26th. But then I spent a few good days at a very good friend's house typing away and avoiding most of the grey weather and rain that struck Lisbon.
I'm very happy to the way It's Not Too Dark Here turned out. I think this was the first time I had quite a clear idea of where the book was heading from the beginning and that really helped along the way. If you have the direction it's always easier to stay on course...
What I loved was the way the story kept changing as I wrote it. I knew there had to be a major clash between this strange anti-hero and the forces of the outside world but the way I had initially planned it was almost entirely discarded.
writing is an odd thing because it feels to me like a mix of being in the flow but also deciding where it will go next. I simply try to be in the flow and, when I'm not, that's when I start deciding about plot, characters and so forth. Maybe this will change in the future but, for now, this is the way I feel more comfortable with.
one of the good things that I enjoyed watching as I wrote was this character I had based on a friend of mine.
We had had a good long chat in september and, after telling her of my ideas for November, she said I should write her into the story. I took the bait right there and then and my mind automatically started browsing for possibilities. Very rapidly I thought of what I wanted her to represent in the book - which was (and still is) her core attitude towards life and something that i needed in the book. But i now had a character to insert somewhere in the story that I hadn't envisioned from the onset.
She was going to be the voice of consciousness. The voice throughout the story that every so often reminds us that the setting is utterly insane and that, despite that fact, everything is still pushing forward at incredible speed. She is the observer of the lunacy of it all. She is one of the bridges between intentions, story and readers.
I did a first attempt to place her in the story. I wanted her to be there more or less from the onset you see.
but that didn't work out. I wrote a couple of scenes but they felt too forced and not really going anywhere. It felt as if she shouldn't be there.
So i dropped it.
I forgot all about i, actually.
But then the story kept evolving. And, after a particular important climax, she just came back into the game for a few very important scenes.
With The Lost Years the story was a bit different. I quickly realised that this book was going to be more than what I have initially envisioned and that I needed a lot more time to bring it to blossom. So, I decided to forget somewhat the research aspect of it (I didn't have the time or internet when I was in portugal) and focus on the drama.
But, even so, this was a story full of surprises. The characters really grew on me and I think that even if you were to read it now, they would grow on you as well. I think there's a deep sense of humanity through it all. But, to be quite honest, it felt as if there was still much to be said. This story is one that I keep having ideas about, getting clearer and clearer every time I think about it. It's a place where i feel comfortable being and I believe it's an important story to be told in this way.
I thought a lot about Nietzsche's Anti-Christ (that I read many years ago) and the vision of a more human Jesus (in his case, in defiance of more "orthodox" christianity). In a way I think the purpose of this book is to reconcile what seems to me to be misinterpretations of both orthodox christianity and philosophy towards Jesus's message.
And that's why I need a bit more time to read through both the bible (a new version that a friend of mine bought which is based upon the "original" texts rather than the string of translations) and some more material (which includes Nietzsche's final work).
I don't know why but I just feel an incredible potential with this book. I know it has been done before (and most surely it will be done again in the future), but I feel that it is important and that it needs to be said. I don't know why, but there is really a calling for this one.
And the strange thing is that, even though I consider Jesus a pretty interesting character, I am much more fascinated by many other historical figures.
In any case, I do not want to turn it into an essay debating the pros and cons of two viewpoints. Rather, I wish to integrate seamlessly into the narrative some answers to much of the debate still going on about this greatly misinterpreted historical figure. I believe that if Jesus was alive today he would probably disagree with much that is being said in his name. The book tries to convey this idea more clearly through dramatic exploration of particular scenarios but also allow us to more clearly see Jesus as both a man of his time but also ahead of his time. The keywords here being his incredible adaptability and compassion.
Still, I have stopped thinking reasons for this and instead simply accepted the way things are currently in my heart and mind...
If you are interested in knowing a bit more about this just go to wikipedia and search for Essenes or, even better, go to this website:
http://www.thenazareneway.com/
there you'll have a plethora of information and this will easily help you get a better idea of where this book is headed. Connect this with Buddhism (which is the root of the Essene teachings) and you pretty much get it.
So, the idea is simple. To recreate Jesus's journeys, both inside and throughout the world. Hopefully the beauty of his teachings will become closer to all those that read it. To me, much more important than the divine (physical) birth of Jesus (and we're all divine anyway so there's really no need to differentiate...) is that other birth, the opening into full divinity inside his heart. I simply wish that that journey will help us recognise that aspect of ourselves. And awaken us to it.
Peace
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